Welcome!
I’m so glad that you’ve stopped by. Hi, I’m Helen, wife to Frank and mother to four amazing kids (three now adults). Together we make a God-designed, mixed raced, adoptive family. We’ve journeyed through homeschooling for the past two decades. Music is my language of passion; worship the expression of my heart. This city girl is now a country dweller, delighted to be a tender of gardens and hearts. Come linger as we contemplate how to live life with true joy in Christ.
Genuine laughter cannot be forced. It bubbles spontaneous from the heart in response to delight or pleasure. Laughter has many expressions, from a breathy chuckle to a full out guffaw, with many variations in between. When forced and awkward it is really laughter in disguise. But the purest of all laughter echoes a deep rooted joy in the Lord.
Though genuine laughter happens spontaneously, it doesn’t always come easy. Let’s face it, Jesus’ words, “In this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33 NIV) resonates true for all of us. We observe brokenness in the world, and we know all too well the brokenness of our own souls, relationships, and lives. When our hearts weigh heavy with pain and suffering, laughter seems foreign, impossible. Then it’s a tremendous exertion of energy to just lift our voices. Laughter stands in stark contrast to the weight of our hearts.
Enter the Proverbs 31 woman. She is a remarkable specimen of a Godly soul who looks like she has everything together. And she does! For she is an authentic woman of faith and wisdom! She is noble in character and consistently presents herself as trustworthy and good. She is a faithful caretaker of family, home, and businesses. This woman is strong and industrious, and works with eagerness, vigor, and diligence from early morning to late at night. She is quick to encourage and care for the poor and needy. No fault can be found in her.
Her impeccable character and accomplishments can feel rather deflating. What woman can possibly keep up with her? Early in our relationship, my husband and I enjoyed attending summer conferences hosted by the Institute of Christian Studies, a graduate school of philosophical thought in Toronto. Both of us were raised in Dutch immigrant communities, from which many attended the conference. At one workshop, the speaker made mention of the Proverbs 31 woman. From the crowd a woman blurted, “Dat nare mens,” followed by ripples of laughter. Her words literally mean, “That nasty person,” and reflect irritation at someone who is overly praised and impossible to compare to. Does this not reflect how we can feel in comparison to the Proverbs 31 woman?
Yet, it is the woman’s spiritual qualities that make her shine the brightest. She is a woman who fears the Lord with unshakable confidence and faith. Her life is not marked by anxiety and fear, but by strength and dignity. Her identity is deeply rooted in the God she loves and serves. And so, she can speak with wisdom and give faithful instruction to others, because her life rests solidly on the truth and goodness of her Lord.
And she can laugh; genuinely laugh! Not because her life is all settled and put together well, though it certainly appears to be. Rather, she “can laugh at the days to come” (:25) because she has the confident assurance that she is not walking her days alone. She knows whom she believes in and is convinced of (II Timothy 1:12 NIV). Therefore, she is able to firmly take her stand “strong in the Lord and in his mighty power,” adorned in the full armor of God (Ephesians 6: 10-18) for each new day.
It’s not easy to laugh when troubles press in. I know. I’ve been through repeated seasons of pain and loss, where laughter felt foreign and distant. We cannot expect to laugh lightheartedly during struggles and grief. Yet, our joy does not depend upon our circumstances. Joy is rooted in our identity in Father God, in who we are as chosen daughters of the Most High King. We are His, and nothing or no one can snatch us from His grip. That truth alone is worth a ripple of holy laughter.
The Proverbs 31 woman laughs forward. She looks at the future, regardless of the brokenness she faces, and knows her Lord is there. In the midst of the struggles of life she fights for joy. She sings with David, “Surely I have a delightful inheritance….I have set the LORD always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken….You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand (Psalm 16: 6, 8, 11 NIV).”
This is the woman I strive to be; the one who lives with joy deeply rooted in the presence and power and love of her Lord, the one who is filled by Him “with an inexpressible and glorious joy (I Peter 1:8 NIV).” This is how I choose to live, how I can trust, and how I can laugh forward every day right into eternity.