When my husband asked me what I’d like for Christmas, all I could think of was a ring. One I could not yet imagine. Certainly, not a ring marked by beauty or power, but one of purpose.

In October, I attended a worship conference in western North Carolina where the Smokey Mountains blazed with the vibrant artistry of fall. Such breathtaking beauty that reflecting the majesty of creation. The conference proved even more enriching, a time of experiencing the Holy Spirit lead the attendees in worship that flowed seamlessly between music and prayer.

During the final session, the conference leader challenged us to make this style of devoted worship a regular practice in our lives. Seeming intentionally coy, he smiled slightly and hinted that perhaps some of us would choose to follow the practice of Count Zinzendorf in wearing a ring to symbolize their true devotion and commitment to God. Like a wedding band, it would signify a vow to remain faithful to The Lord of the Ring, and serve as a constant reminder to remain faithful in worship and passionate in prayer.

I was intrigued! I searched to learn more about this Count Zinzendorf. I discovered he was born into a noble family in Saxony in 1700. But his interest in spiritual matters far outweighed any expectations for royal service. As a young university student, he, along with four friends, solemnly covenanted to follow a three-part Rule of Life: to be kind to all people, be true to Christ, and to send the gospel to the world. They each marked the vow with a ring they promised to wear for life.

This fellowship of friends, based on disciplines of prayer, worship, and the reading and applying of Scripture, went on to spearhead thriving Christian communities and the first missionary movement of the Reformation. Their commitment to embrace deep spirituality led to a Moravian Pentecost in 1727, followed soon after by a continuous 24-7 prayer watch that lasted for over one hundred years, and whose impact reverberated around the world.

How could I not be inspired by Zinzendorf and the communities so committed to passionate discipleship? And yet, how could I possibly compare to the spiritually vibrant lives of men and women such as these? I wrestle too often with faltering faith and doubt and weakness to enter their ranks.  Surely, I could not be considered fit to wear a ring signifying such faithful devotion.

Though able to wholeheartedly commit to the three objectives of devotion to Christ, kindness to all, and spreading of the gospel, my frailties are all too apparent. Like Frodo in JRR Tolkien’s novel, The Lord of the Rings, I can humbly say, “I will take the ring, but I do not know the way.” Yet, despite my known limitations, I earnestly long to embrace the vow and be tangibly reminded to live a life devoted to prayer and worship.

And so, I dared to search for a possible ring. I found myself drawn to Celtic trinity rings with their continuous, intertwined lines symbolizing the unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I showed my favorite choice to my husband, he ordered it, and the gift was sealed.

The week following Christmas carried an unexpected share of struggles, and I’m ashamed to say I did not reflect stability of faith nor intentional kindness very well. In the midst of the emotional swirl, I became increasingly conscious of the ring on my hand and my failing to live what it stood for. On two occasions, I yanked it off in frustration and set it aside. I felt my heart needed humble alignment before I could truly wear it.

And there came the realization. The Holy Spirit was already using the ring to guide me to self-examination, and remind me that God’s love supersedes my shortcomings. The ring is a symbol of my commitment to live devoted to God and to advance His Kingdom, even in my weakness and stumbling. Yet it also serves as a reminder of who He is as forever faithful in His love and grace. And so, I entered a place of both wrestling and sweet surrender that in the end proved good. 

If I lived in the early 18^th century, I would have eagerly sought to experience the diaspora of communities that sprang from Zinzendorf’s Rule of Life. Oh, to have experienced the spiritual passion that spread like wildfire during that time. Yet, the same Holy Spirit works with the same power and truth in men and women today. Yes, also in me.

If wearing a symbolic ring stands as a constant reminder to be true to Jesus, kind to all, and to share the gospel, then let it serve its purpose. Even during times of struggle and suffering, Jesus is Lord of my life and the Lord of this ring. In faith, I will boldly take and wear it.  May it constantly remind me to love God and serve others well. May it continually call me to pray and worship with passion.

Truly, there is no better time than the present to humbly join in the fellowship of the ring.

Living Out the Power of Good Friday and the Freedom of Easter

In my natural health doctor’s office hangs a framed word picture on a simple 8 ½ X 11 paper.  The faded print contains one word: “Forgive,” written in the shapes of once colorful jewels.  It’s not particularly aesthetic, yet clearly reflects my doctor’s understanding of how precious and valuable forgiveness is.  By displaying this print, she openly shares its message with all her patients.  She aptly directed my attention to it on occasion, stating how forgiveness plays a significant role in one’s health and healing.      

I’ve thought a lot about forgiveness during Holy Week, how Jesus is the ultimate example of what it means to forgive.  He forgave the sins of the world at a great cost: betrayal, denial, and abandonment by his closest friends; a forced death sentence by jealous religious leaders; ongoing abuse, assault, mocking, insult, and ultimate death by Roman soldiers; and grievous separation from His Father.

He exemplified forgiveness through His life and suffering.  As He hung on the cross, he prayed for the jeering spectators, asking God to forgive them because they did not know what they were doing by killing the Son of God (Luke 23:34).  He forgave the thief who hung on the cross next to his, in a deathbed confession of sorts (Luke 23:42).  Throughout His ministry to the diseased, to those lacking in faith and on the fringes of society, He repeatedly declared, “Your sins are forgiven.”  Forgiveness was the greatest gift He offered, both to them and us. 

Jesus spoke of the crucial importance of forgiving others, using the Heavenly Father as our highest example.  As we offer others forgiveness, God will forgive us; if we do not forgive others, He will not in His mercy forgive us (Matthew 6:14-15). Such weighty words!  The apostle Paul also instructs us to reflect the forgiveness that Jesus demonstrated on the cross.  He said, “Forgive each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

How can we possibly forgive like Jesus?  He sacrificed Himself to forgive the weight of the whole world’s sin.  Yet, I struggle to forgive a neighbor, friend, or family member who has hurt or offended me.  Jesus told a parable about a king canceling a massive debt, a direct reflection of Him completely removing the burden of our sin. In response, are we then prone to forgive others from the heart, like our Savior has forgiven us? (Matthew 18:23-35).  We may desire to live out forgiveness like Jesus, but how do we forgive every wrong done against us, every relational offense?  Every betrayal, denial, insult, attack, judgement, abandonment?

The Bible does not make light of relational pains or the deep wounds they produce.  Psalm 55 addresses the confoundment and anguish felt by the betrayal of broken relationships from close friends and companions.  The prophet Jeremiah refers to having “wounds as deep as the sea” and questions, “Who can heal you?” (Lamentations 2:13b).  The depth of relational division (yes, even within the church) and inability to work towards mutual understanding, validation for pain, and inner healing, causes us deep personal suffering.  David’s only recourse was to call out to God in trust, and to encourage us to cast our cares on Him and believe He will sustain us (Psalm 55:16,22). 

I have come to realize that our deep, festering wounds can only find true healing in the very wounds of Jesus.  His sacrificial wounds alone can fully heal ours. 

When Jesus shared a final meal with His closest friends, He expressed the longings of His heart with a commanding invitation: “Take and eat; this is my body….Drink from my cup.”  He directed them to accept the sacrifice of His body crucified and blood spilt for them, His closest friends, “for the forgiveness of (their) sins” (Matthew 26:26-28).  Jesus bore great physical wounding so our wounded souls could be healed: His body mangled with whips, fists, and slaps; His head punctured by a thorny crown, His hands and feet pierced by nails, His body hung heavy upon a cross, His side thrust with a spear.  The true Passover Lamb calls us to embrace all He did on our behalf.  He endured the cross and bore each wound in love, so we can know the healing and freedom that His forgiveness brings.  For the power of forgiveness is God’s glory displayed through the wounds of His Son. 

Forgiveness is directly tied to freedom.  Even within the complexity of relational brokenness, true freedom can occur.  To forgive those who have hurt us does not make their actions right or excusable.  But, our forgiving them makes us free.  We will experience freedom by the very act of releasing them to God.  “The first and only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiveness….When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.” (Louise Smedes)

Granted, it is easier to forgive a wrong that occurred in the past than an ongoing painful situation or relationship.  Jesus told Peter there is no cap on forgiving others.  We are called to forgive on a continual basis without keeping a record of wrongs.  It’s an offering of ongoing redemption; a continual commitment to love and forgive like Jesus.  In so doing, we live out the New Covenant command Jesus gave at the Last Supper, to “Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:12).  Forgiveness calls us to intentionally forgive others by laying down our lives in love for them, just as Jesus laid down His life for us and continually forgives and loves us. 

When trust is broken with someone and it feels difficult to forgive, remind yourself that your wounds reflect those of your Savior who graciously forgives you.  Ask God to help you forgive the painful actions or stinging words that feel inexcusable.  Ask Him to loose the weight on your heart and replace it with His love.  For, to release relational wounds, painful situations, and hurtful persons to God, He will indeed set us free.  It is His transformative work alone that will heal us from our woundedness.

We strongly reflect God when we forgive in love.  We put Him on display with the winsomeness and attractiveness of forgiveness to heal our wounds and relationships.  Through the Holy Spirit’s power and guidance, we can live with hearts bent towards forgiveness and freedom. 

Good Friday beckons us to intentionally step into the shadow of the cross to find forgiveness exemplified in pure, redemptive love.  And Easter Sunday’s empty tomb resonates with a song of victory and hope and freedom.  Boldly join its chorus of ongoing transformative love, knowing His wounds were willingly borne to heal the wounds of the world. 

The true beauty of forgiveness far exceeds the value of jewels.  May it sparkle in all the brilliance of ongoing redemptive love in our lives, in our words and actions and hearts.

A Love Note to My Adult Child

You are my greatest investment
The deepest joy of my heart
Your stability and strength – my strongest longing
Your leaps of progress – my delight
Your pathways to growth – solace to my soul

Though my heart radiates with love for you
There are limits to what I can do
I have cut you loose from childhood ties
Free to make your own choices
You alone must navigate your life
To taste the exhilaration of personal achievements
And the painful lessons of stumbling and loss
To rise again, walk forward, and blaze your own trails

My precious child,
I will not make choices for you
I will not try to change you
I will not work to heal you or rescue you
Yet, I will not ever give up on you

I promise to always be here for you
To walk beside you through thick and thin
To speak with encouragement and hope
To throw my arms around you and hold you tight
To celebrate who you have been created to be
To intensely live out redemption, restoration, and love

I will offer kind counsel whenever asked
And redirect you back to your True North
To be a beacon that reflects the Light of the world
To tenderly nudge your heart toward your Way Maker
To never, ever stop praying for you

You cannot ever lose my love! I will always be for you!
This is my unbreakable covenant to you

I love you dearly, Mom

© Helen Suk-Louws 2022

We moved to a new house early this year before the uncertainty and fear of the covid pandemic swept in.  It was a tad bittersweet to sell our home and acreage of eighteen years and move back to the city, yet we welcomed the change.  We had tried to move for several years, so the timing was true evidence of divine orchestration.

For the first time in our marriage, we bought ourselves a Christmas tree during Thanksgiving weekend.  It was a break from tradition.  When we were but five months married, in the heart of a wintery December in Canada, we ventured out on a moonlit night to tromp through deep snow in search of our perfect first tree.  Though less romantic but definitely full of fun, we kept up the tradition of cutting down our own tree every year with our children.  Not an easy accomplishment in North Carolina.  But, as for 2020 with all its craziness….we easily chose the simpler way of securing a tree.

It’s been lovely making our new home festive for Christmas with a Fraser Fir, wreaths, garlands, lots of lights, and advent candles.  I dared to strip down the sentimental grapevine wreath from our wedding of many years past and transform it into something Christmassy.  We’ve intentionally made pleasurable efforts to bring some festivity and normalcy to this very different 2020 Christmas season. 

Is it working?  Perhaps a bit, on the surface.

Beneath the glitter and lights and preparing for gift giving, everyone everywhere is aware of the difference a Covid Christmas brings.  In light of the surging statistics and spiking curves, we all realize the desperate need to celebrate this Christmas on a much ‘littler’ scale.  Just for this year.  As one more challenge to close out 2020.

Decorating for Christmas sheds light, and breathes life and hope into dark places.  The whole world seems to be gasping desperately for some hope and peace in the midst of the pandemic crisis, maybe even some festive escape.  There is strong hope for reprieve with the upcoming vaccine.  Yet, we seem to be longing and hoping all the more for the deeper peace and joy of Christmas in this tumultuous year.

How can we see this 2020 Christmas season with true 20-20 vision?  It has certainly been an unprecedented year of new challenges and staggering loss, a year that has blurred our vision about most aspects of life.  In the midst of all these uncertainties, perhaps we need to more intentionally alter our perspective on how we view Christmas this year.  Instead of looking outward at the ongoing tensions, natural disasters, and Covid’s brutal attack on health and lives, let’s collectively dare to shift our gaze upward.  Let your eyes rest a while on the God who initiated Christmas, and the deep significance of His timing and plan in bringing it about.  He gave the world His very best by shining the great light of a Savior into deep shadows of human darkness, of breathing fresh Hope into despair.  He is doing the same still. 

It was the Father’s loving plan to send His Son to earth as an infant King to make a way of life for you and for me, and through Jesus, to usher in the Kingdom of God.  He is perfect love.  His ways are much higher than a global pandemic, divisive politics, and natural disasters.  Through all the uncertainties and suffering, He remains sovereign and constant in working His purposes.  The true meaning of Christmas continues on.

Fix your eyes a while on Jesus, the newborn king, lying in a manger.  Ponder how He came with great intentionality to reveal the face of God to mankind through His life and love, to demonstrate just how sacrificial His love for us is.  Set your heart on longing to know and understand the depths of His purpose in coming for you, for the world, and just how the hope He offers is so desperately needed in such a time as this.

Purposefully look at life through spiritual lenses and see the fingerprints of God around you, even within your little Christmas celebration.  Count your blessings and give thanks in the midst of the angst.  Delight in the little beauties around you.  See God’s goodness in the warmth of a fireplace, the glow of twinkle lights, the joy of sharing gifts with loved ones.  Feel Him in the crisp winter breeze, snowflakes lighting on your face, the heartfelt love of family and friends – even via video calls.  Taste Him in the blessing of good food and drink shared (even with a few), of the overflow of truth in your heart, of the hunger to see His purposes made more fully known.  And above all, sense Him and know Him as Immanuel, God with us, His presence within you and among you, as you celebrate the beauty of the gift of Jesus come to the world.

Yes, this season will forever be remembered around the globe as the Covid Christmas.  Though our troubles will not be fully out of sight, our deep longings to experience the true light and Hope of Christmas can keep our celebrations joyous even in their littleness and simplicity. 

Have yourself a Covid little Christmas, filled to overflowing with the greatest of all hopes, Jesus come in the flesh, the Hope of the world.

It has now officially begun!  Riding on the tail end of Thanksgiving, we have now legitimately entered the Christmas season.  Isn’t it delightful to start ringing in everything the season holds: setting up the tree, hanging ornaments and decorations, going gift shopping on Black Friday? Mmmmhmmm.  Maybe not the craziness of store and cyber shopping, but there certainly is a charming nostalgia that comes with twinkle lights, evergreen garlands, and the all familiar carols.

But for some of us, the Christmas season may not feel so enchanting.   Instead, it may feel downright painful and filled with heartache. I’m not saying this lightly. I’ve been there. I remember the Christmas early in our marriage when we’d suffered so much loss and raw heartache that we just couldn’t bring ourselves around to even putting up a Christmas tree.  Other Christmas seasons have also been overshadowed with struggle and loss. At times like these, the words, “It’s the hap, happiest season of all” and “May your days be merry and bright,” simply ring trite and shallow.

You may relate, and wonder how you will find the strength to pull off Christmas this year due to your own personal painful circumstance.  You may be facing the absence of a loved one, or not knowing how to deal with strained or broken relationships, or be unsure how to afford Christmas with job loss or financial strain, or how to find joy in the discouragements & disappointments of life.

Christmas after Christmas, we delight to celebrate the birth of Jesus, for He is the promised Messiah come to save us from our brokenness and sin.  Two thousand years ago, the world was in desperate need of a Savior; it still is today.  We, too, desperately need Him as our only Hope, regardless of our circumstances.

But here is a tender truth I have learned over the years.  The most powerful way to grasp the beauty of Christmas, especially for those who are facing difficult or painful circumstances, is to firmly fix our eyes upon who Jesus is. (Hebrews 12: 2)

Yes, we look adoringly on the infant in the manger, thankful for God’s fulfilled promise of sending His Son to live and die for us.  We recognize Him as our promise Messiah. Yet, I encourage you this Christmas season, to stop and deeply ponder who this infant King truly is.  He isn’t confined to a tranquil manger scene!

He is the Son of Almighty God, the promised Messiah come to earth.   He came to display the Father’s heart of love for us, to draw us into His love, to hold us close, and to offer healing for our wounds.  Psalm 147: 3 & 11 assures, “The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

In this Christmas season, may we find the courage to look intently for Jesus in the present – in the here and now moments of every day. 

Be assured that He is very close to you and looks upon you with tender love, acceptance, and understanding. He desires to reveal His saving love to you through His presence, through His Word, through His Spirit, through nativity scenes and Christmas celebrations, …… even through the empty hurting places.

For this is the truth of who Scripture says Jesus is:

He is our promised Savior (Matthew 16:16)

He is the Good Shepherd who searches for and cares for His sheep (John 10:11, Psalm 23, Matthew 18:12-14)

He is the light of the world (John 8:12)

He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6)

He is our Helper (Hebrews 13:6), our Keeper (John 17:12)

He is our Restorer (Psalm 23:3), and our Peace (Ephesians 2:14)

He is the closest of friends (John 15:15), sticking closer than a brother to us through His unfailing love (Proverbs 18:24).

Jesus is very present for you and for me – in the here and now, in this Christmas season, and in every day.  For He truly is Immanuel, God with us.

May we all deeply know and rely on Him and His love for us (I John 4:16) this Christmas season.